The Importance of Opting for the Anytime Anywhere Package

We never eat real Bratwurst because there is too much fat in it. (Help!) We prefer soy Bratwurst, which has no fat but is big on no taste at all. (Help!) Sometimes we put a little chocolate sauce on it. (Help! I am being held prisoner inside a bunch of really boring text!) We get our soy Bratwurst flown in from Dusseldorf every Wednesday. (Hello?) Wednesday being the day of the week when the soy trees are most productive, and therefore we can be assured of getting the young shoots, which are nice with endives and baby carrots. (Is anybody listening?) On Thursdays, we have Dusseldorf flown in, a difficult task since most people are commuting to and from work at the time and don't want to be flown anywhere. (Hello?) We like our fake Bratwurst with a litle blown mustard on it. (We'd use our cell phone to call for help, but we've exceeded our monthly call allotment.) Dijon will do, but what we really like is the ballpark kind with plenty of capers and ginnyhoofers. (If you're listing, would you call our Uncle Smedley and let him know that Raoul is okay but to call the local authorities as soon as possible?) Mustard has no sugar in it, unlike Ketchup. (Hello?) Why do they always put sugar in everything? (His number is 555-2613.) And while we're at it, how much sugar is there in Dusseldorf. (If the line is busy, call Aunt Bratwurst.) Dusseldorf has always been just a bit too sweet for our taste. (Wait a minute...) We could go on and on, but our nickel is up...